Are you Ready to Fly?

Self-assessment Tool

Are you Ready to Fly?

Is this your year to go from struggling Caterpillar Self to radiant Butterfly Woman?

By Maria Mar


Many women are playing at being Caterpillar Self: struggling, hiding, wanting, longing, complaining, trying hard, but spinning their wheels in place. They are doing the “dirty work” or trapped in duty scripts or they cannot believe that there is another way to work, to be or to communicate their message: a way that brings them delight. BUT there IS another way. Are you ready to let go of your Caterpillar Self? Are you ready to build your Dream Chrysalis? And more to the point, are you ready to become Butterfly Woman, open your wings and fly in your true, radiant colors to illuminate the world with your radiance? Take this self-assessment to find out, and you will find the Butterfly Woman Path.

If you are like me and like many women you identify with the butterfly. Even as children, women are drawing butterflies all over their notebooks, while boys find them “sissy.” (Generally speaking). Why is this? Butterfly Woman is an aspect of the Goddess Mother Creatress that shows up to take women into a path of transformation, so that they can illuminate the world with their true colors and radiance; as butterflies do. 

Butterfly models the transformation from Caterpillar Self to Butterfly Self.

What is a Caterpillar Self?

  • If you are struggling in life or work, trying hard but not being effective, doing everything with great effort, alone, without support, without the appropriate resources, that is the Caterpillar Self.
  • If you are hungry for your dream, but filling inadequate to have or create it, so that you keep trying to fix yourself, to do more but no matter how much you do, it’s not enough; that’s the Caterpillar Self.
  • If you are longing to become the Goddess dancing inside you, longing to share your gifts with the world, longing to bring more of who you are into your work, or yearning to uncork the light within you, but feel that there is something drowning your true voice or damming that light, that is the Caterpillar Self.

The Caterpillar Self does not know that at its core, she came from a Butterfly Egg and she already is a butterfly. Instead, she consumes and works hungrily, trying to do more in order to feel that she deserves to become that beautiful butterfly that she desires, but that she sees so far away.

What is a Butterfly Self?

  • If you are enjoying your journey through life, enjoying your work, relationships and your life every day; if you are doing what you want to do with ease and grace, requesting and receiving support and using your resources smartly to create what you want, that is the Butterfly Self.
  • If you do what you love for a living and you do it in the way that brings you the strongest delight and you are serving the world through that, this is the Butterfly Self.
  • If your heart if full every day by who you are and what you do, if you know your value, own your authority and charge what your work is worth, if you are expanding your radiance into the world without accepting limitations imposed by others, this is the Butterfly Self.
  • If you are embodying the Goddess dancing inside you, sharing your unique gifts to make a difference in the world; if you are illuminating the world with your brilliance, this is the Butterfly Self.

Find out if you are trapped in the Caterpillar Self.


Are you trapped in the Caterpillar Self?

Take a minute to see how many of these items apply to you. Give yourself 5 points for each yes you answer in this section. That’s +5. If the answer is no, give yourself 0 for that item.

  1. Do you know your life purpose, but feel that it is far away because you can’t possibly make it happen now, the way you are? No, first you must fix this and that and that other thing and….
  2. Do you hold back and play it too safe or play small, so that you are not earning what you deserve, not stepping up to the potential you envision in your must enlightened moments? Is this frustrating you?
  3. When you think of being a butterfly… do you feel some invisible Inner Wings stirring —a longing rising from your Soul, a sense of your beauty, gifts and potential calling you to your radiance?
  4. Do you have a hard time truly feeling and believing that you have the mastery and authority to step up, earn more and lead —though you know intellectually that you have the gifts, expertise, talents and skills to do it?
  5. Do you work hard just to find that your actions are ineffective and you are spinning your wheels in place, procrastinating or feeling insufficient for the task?
  6. Do you know your gifts and talents, but cannot see how you can share them with the world in a way that allows your true brilliance to illuminate others?
  7. You often complain that you are not doing what you want. Even when you are using your gifts and talents, it’s not in a way that makes you happy. You are a slave to duty, to “the way things are done” to others’ expectations or to your own belief that it is not possible to do what you love in the way that makes you happy… and still earn a living.
  8. Deep inside you there is a Goddess dancing, singing, writing, making miracles…. BUT you are not expressing her fully in your life, in the way you present your gifts, in your physical presence in the world, in your voice. You can feel that you are folding and hiding parts of her. And this lack of integration reverberates in your voice, the energy you put out and the ability to make choices that move you towards your Goddess expression. 
  9. You want to make a BIG change in the world, sure. But you are allergic to the word leadership. When you’ve been in charge, it has been an overwhelming job, you’ve become a control freak, you’ve had to shoulder all the responsibility or you became everyone’s mama.
  10. You find yourself working for corporations or institutions that under-use your talent, feel restrictive or operate in ways that frustrate you. You have easy, common-sense or creative solutions… but the boss or organization is too boxed-in or not open to changes. Ask yourself this: Have you changed jobs often in the last seven years? If the answer is more than three times, you are standing in all the wrong places.


Find out if you are ready for your metamorphosis.

Are you ready to fly? Are you ready to become Butterfly Self?

See how many of the items below you can answer with a yes! Give yourself 5 points for each yes you answer in this section. If the honest answer is a no, maybe or I don’t know, subtract 5 points.

  1. You are ready to embody your life purpose NOW, no more complaints or excuses. You know you can do it (even if you don’t yet know how) and you are seeking help or a path right now.
  2. You refuse to judge and berate yourself anymore for not being at the “level” you want to be. Instead, you are seeking help to find out what holds you back and do something about it.
  3. You are trusting your Inner Wings. even if you are not flying yet. You are honoring the gifts and beauty of the Goddess inside you, and you are working in concrete ways to express your potential and free your radiance.
  4. Though it is still hard to see yourself as a genius or authority, you are ready to step up. You are ready to find a way to feel, own and name your value in this world. 
  5. That’s it! No more spinning your wheels in place! You are seeking help. You are finding new models. You are taking action to take effective action. No more dilly dallying and no more self-judgment either.
  6. You don’t have to know everything. In fact, you don’t have to know a single thing before you start. And that’s exactly what you are doing. Starting the journey, one foot forward, even if it feels that you are walking into mystery. You trust that you can find a way to share your gifts with the world that feels good to you.
  7. You are making a commitment with yourself: no more complaining. No more procrastinating. No more waiting until everyone else is happy before you are happy yourself. You are ready to release the False Beliefs that keep you trapped in “the way things are done” or fitting others’ expectations. You make a pledge to find YOUR way and live and work on your own terms.
  8. It’s not that hard. You are changing your habits, allowing yourself to be happy, to express your gifts, to take your Goddess out of the closet or shelf, and let her dance in your life. You are giving yourself pleasure, time, priority, space. You are unfolding. It’s not perfect. You go back, but you are doing it one day at a time.
  9. It’s scary, but you are willing to believe that what you do matters, that you are an influencer. True, you do not want to be a leader in the way you’ve seen other leaders act or you have acted in the past: controlling, manipulating or carrying the weight of the world. But you are willing to find new ways that feel good to you.
  10. No more! You want to be congruent. You want to live your values in your work. You are not willing to insult your soul in order to make a buck. So you are stepping up as an innovator. You are calling it as it is. You are willing to leap out of the box, even if it means that you have to build a new structure all together… and you don’t have the foggiest idea of what that would be!


Open your wings, and fly high… so that you break the cages and set others free!

When you add all up, your awareness, commitment and choices to change (second section) add up to the previous section, which measure the ways in which you are trapped in the Caterpillar Self.

For example, if you answered YES to all the Caterpillar items, you have 50 points. If you answer YES to all the Butterfly items, you now have 100. But if you answered NO to the Butterfly Items, you end up with 0.

  • 0-49: You are not ready yet to step into your Butterfly Woman. It may be that you have not think these things through and they are just coming into your consciousness. Or it may be that you are still ambivalent. If the former, subscribe to the Bewomaning Magazine and schedule the reading every week to become crystal clear on the issues that clip your wings. If the later, you need to develop self-love and give yourself Emotional Permission to succeed and be happy. Click on the recommended links for articles that help you with it.


Resources to apply this knowledge



Maria Mar
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Maria Mar
Creatress of the Bewomaning Experience at Bewomaning Magazine & Sacred Feminine School of Wisdom
Maria Mar is the creatress of the Bewomaning Experience and an author, storyteller and shaman who uses story as alchemy to help you transmute your old story of limitations to the new story of your brilliance illuminating the world. Like my stories? Enjoy a 30-day free trial in my Story Lovers club! Go now to reserve your seat.

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